On honouring our most subtle voice

Our voice is such a potent part of our being – of who we are. There are so many ways we can use it, and I think for many of us. Indeed my history of finding my voice, confronting the fear of using it, whether that included the fear of judgement, ridicule or the fear of losing people, was a huge hurdle, and in many ways still is. But that was the focus – the external use of my voice and the communication with others.

We ask questions like: how can I use my voice to communicate my needs, boundaries, or desires to those around me in a compassionate yet firm way? Or, How can I take my power back? Although these questions are essential, they dominate the conversations around voice and power. Combined with the growing self-care trends, using our voice can quickly become about keeping people out and refusing to allow anything that is not serving our ego. 

Self-care has been a powerful tool in my recovery and healing. However, without self-inquiry and the tools to expose different aspects of my ego – be it the traumatized parts such as exiles or inner children, elements that were defended and protective, or the other parts that overwork, people please and overcompensate, self-care becomes just another way to soothe our ego and blocks us from moving forward.

In the same way, the power we’re seeking by exploring our voice is lost if we’re unwilling to hear the truth of the many voices within, which is precisely where I want to go with you.

I want to take this focus inwards, to give our inner voice a chance to be heard and explored.

Recently, in our Community Membership, we explored the question, “how do I experience truth?” Note, we weren’t asking “what is my truth?” which is a question that makes me cringe all over – for one, it implies that we only have one truth and that that truth is a singular and stagnant thing that doesn’t have an energy of its own. But, of course, it does, and I’m sure you’ve felt it before. 

The question was, “how do I experience truth?” which takes us out of the singular and allows us to reflect on the feelings, sensations and mental states that accompany truth – in short, it helps us hone in on our intuitive radar. 

With it comes the opposite question, “how do I experience the absence of truth?” which is sometimes easier to answer and, with our curious intent, brings us closer to what we’re looking for.

Throughout the exercise we did in group, I noticed something interesting within each of us – the more time we gave ourselves to explore “how do I experience truth,” the closer we got to hard truths that were relevant to our present lives – truths we danced around, not wanting to give them a voice by saying them out loud. Of course, we knew exactly what was true within us, but acknowledging it was intensely uncomfortable, to the point where we actively chose silence instead of truth.

This isn’t wrong. The simple act of taking the time to explore ourselves is courageous enough; it simply got me thinking about our voice, the usual narrative around voice and power and how there’s such a huge element missing: the power that comes from acknowledging our own voice and speaking those hard truths out loud.

See, we all have intuition; it’s not a gift some of us get given, and others miss out on. It’s in all of us, all of the time. The problem is throughout our lifetime, we’ve not only been conditioned to look outside ourselves for answers through the nature of the culture we live in, but most of us have also subconsciously learned that attachment to others is more important than hearing the truth within us – this, of course, wraps into our need to please others, feel accepted or admired, and to “fit in.”

After the exercise, we got curious about what kind of feelings it elicited – some of us elements of contraction and tightness showed up, and openness and relaxation were present in others. Within our reactions, our bodies showed us our discomfort and freedom, respectively, giving us an opportunity for further curiosity.

This is the work, and it is the most powerful and transformative form of self-care I’m acquainted with at this time. It is the work of marrying the mind, body and Self – partly by gently inquiring into the physiology of our bodies and its connection to the mental-emotional spheres of our experience; and, partly by accepting each individual part as such, an individual, as it arises and comes into our consciousness.

This is my deepest passion, and I love guiding others in their own exploration, facilitating harmony between their inner parts for present moment peace, love and happiness, and guiding them to empower themselves through self-love and acceptance.

It’s my honour to host weekly women’s groups through the small group and community memberships I run; witnessing women coming together around the exploration of truth and honouring the similarities and differences of one another fills me with joy and immeasurable gratitude. Similarly, I am fueled by my work as a private coach; diving deeper with individual clients and witnessing the change that can occur by cultivating self-love for each part of ourselves and by listening to the voices within will always keep me wondering about the beautiful complexities of being human.

If this is work you’re interested in, you can learn more through the membership page. Our Small Group (weekly meetings) and Community membership (twice-monthly meetings) gather on zoom on Tuesday evenings for one hour. Our small group membership is open for registration from November 28th – December 5th, and won’t open again until late February, and currently has 3 spots open.