Growing Beyond Your Triggers
I believe in radical responsibility. This means paying attention to the subconscious patterns, behaviours and drivers that lead to our own suffering, inner tightness or pain whenever possible, and being gentle with ourselves when we can’t.
…Because we can’t always be aware of our drivers and patterns! There’s a reason we call it subconsciousness – it is literally below our consciousness! Although I advocate for the incredibly empowering practice of self-awareness, we can’t be mindful of everything all the time, so give yourself some grace – you are human, after all.
However, there are many ways we can intentionally stand in the ritual of presence and empower ourselves beyond our triggers!! And, we’re all about putting those techniques and tools into practice!!
Here’s a short process I love to step into my power and take responsibility for my triggers:
#1 Find the pattern
Whenever you’re working with a trigger, there’s always some pattern of how you are activated. This pattern may include certain behaviours, environments, people, or simply repetitive thought processes.
If you’re doing this practice, the chances are you’re already aware of a trigger response within you. Take some time to witness how this trigger manifests within your experience:
- What’s happening in your body? Is there any sensations of tightness, constriction, weight, pain or anything else?
- Are there familiar emotions present?
- What is your current thought process?
- What behaviours are you exhibiting?
Notice when these things most commonly arise in you. There may be common or repetitive circumstances that initiate these unwanted experiences.
#2 Scope of Control
- We don’t control what other people do, what they say, how they behave, feel or think.
- We can’t control the weather.
- We can’t control the passage of time.
- We don’t have control over the news or the economy.
- And we can’t control the past or the future.
The question is, what is within our scope of control, particularly when we are triggered and our neural pathways are trying desperately to play the same old tune they’ve always played? Sometimes, it doesn’t feel like much.
That’s why we’re exploring this now when you’re relaxed, don’t have much else going on and have a moment to get present.
To an extent, our scope of control includes our overarching behaviour, words, thoughts, attitude, habits, and choices. I say “to an extent” because depending on the intensity of the trigger, we don’t necessarily have complete control over these things, and it can be challenging to gain that control. But if we know our patterns and the circumstances that typically activate us, we can make different choices; our scope of control expands to include:
- What and who we surround ourselves with
- What content we consume (news, social media, tv, movies)
- How and when we exercise or go outside
- The activities we choose to do
- The boundaries we choose to implement and hold
We’re not exploring our scope of control to keep others out, isolate ourselves, or prevent ourselves from ever being triggered again. That life can get pretty lonely, and we need to challenge ourselves to grow, build resilience, and increase our capacity for presence and love.
What this does do is allow us to heal why only allowing small incremental change without feeling overwhelmingly activated.
“What is a trigger? If you look at a weapon, the trigger is a very small part of the mechanism, isn’t it? What there really is, is a weapon that is loaded, ready to fire, and it’s got an explosive in it and it’s got ammunition in it. That’s you. Then you see something or hear something that triggers you. Should we look at these triggers as a tiny little thing, or should we look at the loaded gun and the ammunition that we all carry and we are so afraid to actually look at? If you are triggered, it’s because you are a gun ready to fire, it’s because there’s explosive material in you that you’ve been carrying all your life. The rich learning is in getting curious about your ammunition. Never mind focusing on the trigger so much.”
Dr. Gabor Maté
#3 Values-Based Action
What are your top two core values? These will inform how you take action to eliminate or reduce the things, people, or circumstances that leave you activated and acting from a place of constant unconsciousness. It’s not about cutting things out or going cold turkey; it’s about taking informed action that aligns to your core values, values such as Truth, Peace and Love, or Kindness and Connection.
Our boundaries become gentler when we act from our hearts; we hold ourselves and others with more compassion and build trust within our system!
If this was helpful to you, I’d like to invite you to my free 3-day masterclass to help you get clear about your intention and hone in on your primary core values! This is foundational work, and I’ve put this masterclass together with clear audios, journal prompts and a beautiful workbook to help you access a peaceful way forward!
